Why I can't like American series
There are several reasons why I've never been a fan of TV series and movies. One of the reasons is this:

I scrabble through the topsoil and burst out of the ground to stand before her. She is young, pretty, blonde…in my rush to feed, my powers of observation let me down. I should have realised that she did not appear frightened despite my horrific visage and unnatural entrance. I should have looked more closely at what she was carrying.

‘Say hello to Mr Pointy.’

The above excerpt comes from a fanfic quoted by this article on Buffy fandom in the United Kingdom (yes, from the same place I got the yaoi article). The article mentioned that fanfic writers try to emulate the "complex narratives and wit of the original series".

See, that's the problem with American TV series. It sounds good on paper, doesn't it, that bit of fanfic? Funny. Surprising. Now imagine it being acted out on screen.

It's not witty. It's not funny. It'd only be vaguely amusing. Above all, it'd end up being what so many of the cult TV series are - annoyingly corny. Honestly, I'm getting really sick and tired of the many times I've watched TV and, in a situation of grave danger of fatal consequences, the heroes wisecrack. Haha. Very amusing.

It doesn't sound witty or fun. It sounds as if the characters know that they're on TV and that they should act accordingly, instead of being stuck in a situation where they could be killed / never return home / suffer anything of significant value. I know that in fiction, you take a certain amount of liberty with reality, but hey, please, there's a limit to how much one can stretch one's believability.

  posted by Karcy R. @ 11:26 PM

 
Sebuyau!
My father, having returned from one of his excursions that takes him to all those places in rural Sarawak, has this to say about the road to Sebuyau:

The road to Sebuyau is in a state in which only lorries and land cruisers can use - there are no nice, fancy cars going down the road there. Passengers hitching a ride to Sebuyau sit in lorries. Recently, for two days, no lorry could use the road to Sebuyau because it was blocked by logs. It was blocked by logs because two dudes put it there. As a matter of fact, at a certain point of time, one of the guys sat on the logs, and gave the world all his stubborn contempt.

The reason was simple. Two dudes own land. Government builds road over land. Two dudes haven't got their reimbursement. Two dudes are freakin mad. Two dudes have access to tree logs. Two dudes built a fence of logs. Two dudes look at the big lorry stuck in the middle of the road and laaaaaaauuuuuuggh.

Apparently my father didn't exactly give me the correct picture about the road to Sebuyau because he mentioned later that motorcycles managed to pass through the log fence by going round the sides. Eventually the unhappy landowners must have put down the logs, since it only lasted for two days, but I do not know how things led up to that conclusion.

  posted by Karcy R. @ 6:05 AM

 
Name: If you know my name, good. If you don't, then I shall be known as Karcy R. and nothing more. It's good enough.
Present Coordinates: Not informing
Sex: Not yet.
DOB: Two decades ago, when Sagitaurus was in one of its decans.
AIM S/N: Nada.

Have you ever?
Drank: I am alive.
Smoked: No
Kissed: No. Malaysians don't kiss much.
Skinny-dipped: No. Malaysians don't skinny dip much. Although I won't mind trying.
Broken a bone: No
Failed a class: No. I'm brilliant.
Cried over boy or a girl: Yes.
Had a death in the family: My granma, a while back.

Status, right now?
Wearing: Dress for pregnant ladies and a panty. That's all. I dress simple at home.
Eating: Nothing.
Phone with: Home phone and mobile phones.
Time: See entry information below
Drinking: Nothing.
Listening to: MP3s
Boyfriend/Girlfriend: None. Not prepared for one.
Married: No.
In love: No. Fell out recently.

When was the last time you?
Smiled: Several minutes ago.
Laughed: This morning
Cried: Can't recall
Bought something: I forgot.
Danced: A few seconds ago.
Were sarcastic: Forgot.
Kissed someone: Forgot.
Talked to an ex: I never had an ex!
Watched your favorite movie: Don't have one.
Had a nightmare: Forgot.

What is the?
Last book you read: Completed reading? Terry Pratchett's Maskerade. Still reading? Lord of The Rings by Tolkien, The Science of Discworld by Terry Pratchett and two other scientist dudes (tough reading), Sophie's World by Jostein Gaardner (must digest slowly), The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy (I'm forcing myself to read this), The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton (she keeps on talking about old NY society), Gray's Anatomy on Yahoo! (I need to learn more sciences), and the best of all, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce, which I am reading slowly to savour every delicious moment. And oh yes, the Bible.
Last movie you saw: A Beautiful Mind. Elegant, but wrong. I'm quoting a review I read online.
Last song you heard: Our Lady Peace's Thief. On MP3.
Last thing you had to drink: Cold water. Had hiccups.
Last time you showered: This morning.
Last thing you ate: Some junk food.

Do you?
Live in the moment: No. Whatever you're talking about.
Have a dream that keeps coming back: I have sequels to my dreams, but I never repeat dreams.
Play an instrument: I can ding dong on the piano.
Believe there is life on other planets: Yes. It's already proven. They found bacteria on Mars. I don't believe in intelligent life, though. Just because it's possible doesn't mean that it is.
Read the newspaper: Yes. Depends on the mood I'm in.
Have any gay or lesbian friends: I have bisexual friends living in the closet. Not many people want to admit they're homosexual in Malaysia. I also know some effeminate males, and they know me, but I don't know if they're close enough to be considered friends.
Believe in miracles: Yes and no. I believe in supernatural events. I believe that they all obey a Universal Law and never come out of it, and are merely unexplained. It depends on what you define a miracle to be. Is a miracle still a miracle if it is explained?
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever: Forever? No. For life? Yes.
Consider yourself tolerant of others: No. I get annoyed easilly by stupid things people do.
Like the taste of alcohol: No.
Have a favorite candy: No.
Believe in astrology: Not really. Subconsciously yes, because we all want to know what happens in the future so we can try our best to prepare. But logically, astrology is all wrong. I don't have Sagitaurus traits. My personality traits belong to Libra.
Believe in God: Yes. There are many times when I doubt, and right now I don't know if I can be called a Christian because I just rebel towards many Christian conventions. But I do believe in a Universal Law, and that's God, or a part of God, to me.
Pray: Yes.
Go to church: Occasionally.
Have any secrets: Yes
Have any pets: No. I used to have one. Fish. Died. Food poisoning. A lesson on the amount of chemicals in our vegetables.
Do well in school: Yes. In general.
Go to college: I'm waiting for my application confirmation.
Have a major: Not yet.
Talk to strangers who instant message you: Yes. Occasionally.
Have any piercings: No
Have any tattoos: No. I wanted to have one but changed my mind due to the risk of Hepatitis B and HIV.
Have an obsession: I'm a fan of something, and I'm proud of it! I don't know what I'm a fan of though. But I'm sure I'm a fan of something.
Collect anything: No. I used to collect manga.
Have a best friend: Yes.
Wish on stars: No. Pretty stupid thing to wish on dead lights.
Like your handwriting: No. Messy.
Have any bad habits: Yes.
Care about looks: Mine: No. Men: No. Other women that I feel are my rivals: Yes. Entertainers and Perfomers: Yes.

  posted by Karcy R. @ 1:11 AM

 
Good morning at ten
When you drove home after school, what did you see?

I saw the opening of a new company along Abell Road. I spotted it because there was a huge celebration there. There were several umbrellas, blue in colour, lining up the pavement that stretched parallel to the road. I saw balloons that were coloured red, white, and blue. I saw men in uniformed blue shirts. I heard drummings. I saw a lion, golden in colour, dancing to it. It was like Chinese New Year but without the firecrackers. All over the place, boasting the company, are the words and logo of Alliance Finance.

I saw a man who on a bicycle who stopped and waited for no one knows what, in the middle of the intersection of a traffic light.

I wanted to go home but wanted to delay the experience of opening the gates as long as possible.

I was feeling sleepy because I cannot stand the bright light of day. This is true. Whenever I go outside a building and walk or drive during the late morning or daytime for a long enough time my eyes feel hurt and I feel sleepy. I feel more alert at home, with the appropiate shadows. But then again I slept at three last night and woke at eight today.

I went to Bintawa.

I got lost at Bintawa.

I came out from Bintawa through Jentera Road.

Bintawa is a dull place. It is only interesting for writers, perhaps, if they can capture the humidity of the place. Bintawa is a hot place. There are many house in the Bintawa area, and those houses are pretty old. There are a number of small factories in Bintawa. I remember that one factory manufactured cables.

I remember that along the way to Bintawa, someplace along Utama Road, there is an eating outlet, a cafeteria, called Pastilurus. I have no idea why they named it that way. Utama Road was under construction. The left side of the road was covered with stones. Big trucks blocked the way.

I go back home. Big trucks were widening the road of Datuk Mariccan Salleh. They need to widen it. There will be a bridge built from there, joining the Pending area with Petra Jaya. That will make three major bridges joining Kuching North and Kuching South: Satok, Sejingkat, and Pending. To justify the joining of Pending and Petra Jaya, a huge area of shops will be built around the area that makes Datuk Mariccan Salleh. They call it City 2000 because the idea was launched in the year 2000.

Only a few years ago people said how so very far Pending was from the city centre.

I went home.

  posted by Karcy R. @ 12:00 AM

 
Blogger is screwy
Lately Blogger's been acting very screwy. I'm irritated.

  posted by Karcy R. @ 3:52 AM

 
Slash Sexuality
Check out this very, very good article on the yaoi fixation in Japan. Now how would you like that for a boyband member?

What? Me? Read slash and yaoi? But of course!

Yes, I read slash and yaoi, but for the most part I don't find them arousing. I still prefer heterosexual erotic material. I know I joke about getting turned on by my male friends getting it on, but the fact is, as a whole I find male-on-male action pretty much a turn off. It's not disgusting, it's not repulsive, it's just not tempting. I understand why some women really love yaoi and slash, but I can't find myself obsessing over it like they do. It's not erotic, it's just bodies flinging around.

I suppose one reason why I like slash but not for the sex is probably due to my own Christian background, where homosexuality and graphic sex is usually seen as a sin. But of late I'm beginning to believe that another reason why I like slash is - surprise, surprise - its asexuality.

Yes, the asexuality. In our world and the society that dominates it, sex is everywhere. It dominates almost everything we do, consciously and subconsciously. We may come from conservative backgrounds - the Malaysian society comes to mind - but that conservative attitude stems from a repulsion of a sexual overload and overt freedom. Sex, again.

When two people are very close to each other, regardless of their gender, the idea of sex comes into the picture. The situation is worse in fiction, where a character's attachment to another character will be interpreted a million ways by 'shipper fans and literary psychoanalysts.

But when I see or read about two men having a close relationship - whether it is a close friendship, a master-squire (think Sam and Frodo), or, best of all, a rivalry - I see something that transcends sexuality. I see two individuals who can have a close relationship and who can use the word 'love' to describe their relationship without the social restrictions and petty chains that bind people. I see a relationship that uses the word 'love' and doesn't have to be about sex. In our world, you can't say that you love someone who is not your family member without having it considered as a sexual move. In the world of fiction, you can escape that reality, and the result is lovely.

I don't like seeing women having those close bonds - I don't hate seeing it, but it doesn't have the same effect as watching guys - because it's too close to reality. When I see female characters in fiction, I tend to think "Now how much can I relate to this female?", and women having strong bonds with each other (usually sisterly bonds, friendship bonds or mother-daughter bonds) are females that I just can't relate to. Furthermore, it is pretty much expected of females to have strong sisterly bonds with each other in reality. It doesn't break any ground to have such a relationship written on paper or shown on TV.

Bottomline: slash is appealing because it features strong male bonds that would be pretty taboo in this world. Slash is not appealing because after several minutes of soul-connecting (the good part) the male characters end up in bed together (sex, again).

  posted by Karcy R. @ 1:41 AM

 
Everyone else was pasting this so...

Which Rock Chick Are You?

 
Vernal Equinox
It turns out that today is the Bahai New Year Vernal Equinox. I just found out from the Sarawak Government almanac. It appears that Bahai has been considered an official religion in Malaysia. I've always thought it was considered a cult, like the Jehovah's Witnesses. Are the Jehovah's Witnesses an official religion in Malaysia too?

  posted by Karcy R. @ 1:03 AM

 
Days
The world is mighty small isn't it? It turns out that the girl who knew another Karcy was in fact someone I knew from a chatroom online. Apparently the ten year old kid who kept hopping on Shal's head is now quite a babe.

Days pass. I built a website. I wrote stuff. Fiction. Semi-fiction. I just wrote. Silverfish's deadline is looming closer, and I am running out of days. I have to hand up soon, it is the 21st now. I have to complete them all by the 25th to 26th. One must be prepared for setbacks.

Days pass, and as I checked my mail I came across the unbelievable: Yoshua thinks that he can't write. Honestly Yosh, I know you don't read this but, come on! You're a good writer. You're not Hemingway, heck no, you don't write words as beautifully as Arundhati Roy. But you're a good writer. I love your taste, your style, your ability to spin ordinary everyday situations with a tongue-in-the-cheek twist.

You're a good writer. You're not the best, but you're a good writer nonetheless.

  posted by Karcy R. @ 12:42 AM

 
Hurrah!
Hurrah Hurrah the 1024x768 version of my site is up!

  posted by Karcy R. @ 6:16 AM

 
One more quote
Alright, I may have lied
But what good would it have done
For you to see me cry
I built up these walls
With one purpose in mind
It was my only shelter
From the truth and pain
That inevitably lay
On the other side
- from here

You know, I really admire all those people who can craft these beautiful words and put them in their blog, so very spontaneous they are indeed (generally, items placed in blogs are spontaneous in nature). In order for me to write down poetry, I have to sit down and crack my brains and my poems are still just device without beauty.

I am viewing this site with a 1024x768 resolution. All in all, I have to say that the Internet looks very funked up. On the other hand, the big spaces are pretty nice.

Haha, I finally learned how to bring my tables up to the corner of the page: using bodymargin tags! I can't believe I never thought about it earlier. I am working on the frames for the 1024x768 version of my website. I hope it turns out well, unlike my pop up fiasco.

  posted by Karcy R. @ 3:25 AM

 
I'm a writer, not a designer
All right, so I may not be a good writer, but hey, I try.

My website is finally up. Most of the stuff are offline and the version for the larger resolution doesn't work and is offline...but hey, it's a start.

I really hate Javascript. Well, I don't hate it the way I hate Java applets. I just can't master it.

  posted by Karcy R. @ 12:44 AM

 
Just...
I deleted the latest post before this because well, it was me in one of my moodier states again. I changed my mind about it in a few minutes' time, anyway.

  posted by Karcy R. @ 5:21 AM

 
For lunch
Two delicious soft, creamy spheres of mashed potatoes topped with Sarawakian Black Pepper Sauce. Placed inside a small Coca-Cola paper cup. Name: mushy potato. Absolutely fantastic. Available at Shelter, a little cafe in the corner at the roundabout, between MacDougall Road and Wayang Street, Kuching.

  posted by Karcy R. @ 10:36 PM

 
Revelations
Living life is basically seeing the world through stained glass from inside a box. The stained glass is the way you view and perceive things whereas the box is the limitations of your view. Today I expanded the box a bit by wondering how the world would see me and how I look to people outside. Not wondering what they thought about me, but wondering how I would perceive me if I was outside looking in.

I realised that:
1. My life is incredibly dull
2. I am incredibly dull
3. I'm not as smart as I thought I was
4. I'm probably not going to achieve anything outstanding anytime soon.
5. I can't imagine myself as a forty year old.

  posted by Karcy R. @ 6:35 AM

 
Aching feet
I'm tired. I spent long hours at my aunt's, doing nothing except watching TV. It's strange, because I honestly feel tired just out of watching TV. I'm downloading Paint Shop Pro. It's downloading pretty slow. I have nothing to write about today - well, I do have things to write about, but I just don't feel like writing anything today. I'm just tired.

One personality test, and here's another:

You were female in your last earthly incarnation. You were born somewhere around the territory of what is now know as modern Izrael, approximately in the year 1200. Your profession was: seaman, cook, carpenter. A brief psychological profile of you in that past life:
Natural talent of psychologist, you knew how to use the opportunities. Cold-blooded and calm in any situation. A lesson that your last past life wishes you to learn in your present life is: Your problem -- to learn to love and to trust Universe. You are bound to think, study, reflect, develop inner wisdom.